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Burnistoun S1E1 - Voice Recognition Elevator - ELEVEN!,Comedy,Burnistoun,Iain,Connell,Robert,Florence,series,comedy,elevator,lift,sketch,Scottish,funny,as,feck,eleven,Scotland,freedom,humor,glasgow,9 Nov. '11 - I received a notice that this video will no longer be viewable in the UK thanks to Channel 5 muscling in. "Burnistoun" finally gets a well-deserved wider airing and this is the result? This clip has had well over 2 million views - is Channel 5 not aware of the extent to which this clip has provided free publicity for the show? Is Channel 5 not aware of the fact that they're being pointlessly petty bastards? ---------------------------- For those having trouble with the accent, see transcript below. Official site for the guys: http://www.connellandflorence.com [Iain] Where's the buttons? [Rob] Oh no, they've installed voice-recognition technology in this lift, they have no buttons. [Iain] Voice-recognition technology? In a lift? In Scotland? You ever tried voice-recognition technology? [Rob] No. [Iain] They don't do Scottish accents. [Rob] Eleven. [VOICE] Could you please repeat that? [Iain] Eleven. [Rob] Eleven. Eleven. [Iain] Eleven. [VOICE] Could you please repeat that? [Rob] EL-EV-EN. [Iain] Whose idea was this? You need to try an American accent. "E-leven. E-leven." [Rob] That sounds Irish, not American. [Iain] No it doesn't! ELEVEN. [Rob] Where in America is that - Dublin? [VOICE] I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that? [Rob] Try an English accent. "Eelevin! Eelevin!" [Iain] You from the same part of England as Dick van Dyke? [Rob] Let's hear yours then, smartass. [VOICE] Please speak slowly and clearly. [Rob] SMARTASS. [Iain] Ee-lev-en. [VOICE] I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that? [Iain] ELEVEN. If you don't understand the lingo, away back home to your own country! [Rob] Ooo, it's that talk now, is it, away back home to your own country? [Iain] Oh, don't start Mr. Bleeding Heart, how can you be racist to a lift? [VOICE] Please speak slowly and clearly. [Rob] Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. [Iain] You're just saying it the same way! [Rob] I'm going to keep saying it until it understands Scottish, alright? [Rob] Eleven. Eleven. Eleven! Eleven! [Iain] Oh just take us anywhere, ya cow! Just open the doors! [VOICE] This is a voice-activated elevator. Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner. [Iain] Calm? Calm? Where's that coming from? Why is it telling people to be calm? [Rob] Because they knew they'd be selling this to Scottish people who'd be going off their nuts at it! [VOICE] You have not selected a floor. [Rob] Aye, we have! Eleven! [VOICE] If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply say "Open the doors, please". [Iain] Please? Please?? Suck my wully. [Rob] Maybe we should just say "please". [Iain] I'm not begging that for nothing. [Rob] Open the doors, please. [Iain} "Please!" Pathetic. [VOICE] Please remain calm. [Rob] Oh! My! God! You wait until I get up there...just wait for it to speak... [VOICE] You have not selected a floor. [Rob] Up yours, ya cow! If you don't let us through these doors, I'm gonna come to America, I'm gonna find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice, and I'm gonna go to the electric chair for ye! [Iain] Scotland, you bastard! [Rob] Scotland! [Iain] SCOTLAND! [Rob] SCOOOOOTLAND! [Iain] FREEDOM!! [Rob] FREEDOM!! [Iain] Goin' up?
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