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The Joy of Tech Resolutions for 2011. by Nitrozac & Snaggy I RESOLVE TO MAKE THIS YEAR THE yEAR I INTRODUCE THE "WHAT PEOPLE ARE EATING NOW" FILTER. I RESOLVE TO SAVOR EVERY MOMENT OF WATCHING FACEBOOK AND GOOGLE TRy TO STRANGLE EACH OTHER. tuiiUber at&t AND ALSO TO KEEP OUR iPHONE 5 PROTOTYPE OUT OF THE GREASY HANDS OF SLIME-BUCKETS. ' WE'RE RESOLVED TO > BEG AND GROVEL, EVEN MORE, AT THE FEET OF STEVE JOBS, IN ORDER TO KEEP OUR IPHONE EXCLUSIVITY/ PLEASE STEVE, NO iPHONE ON v VERIZON/ PLEASE! , Google facebook f THIS YEAR WE > WILL REDOUBLE OUR EFFORTS TO MAKE A FULLY AUTOMATED, SELF-DRIVING, TIME TRAVELING CAR WITH THE ABILITY TO HUNT DOWN AND DESTROY A PRE-TEEN MARK ZUCKERBERG. , I RESOLVE TO MOVE > EVEN FASTER CHANGING YOUR PRIVACY SETTINGS, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE EXHAUSTED TRYING TO KEEP UP AND SOON WON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT IT ANYMORE/ y ' I RESOLVE TO CONTINUE TO N CONSOLIDATE OUR STRENGTHS AND BUILD ON OUR POWERFUL BRAND, AND PRAY EVEN HARDER THAT THIS ISN'T THE YEAR WE FLUSH OURSELVES DOWN THE TOILET. ! RESOLD 4TINI IÇ ТП c III! 1<->С I <_> П__ ПУ ÎHREE LftUS OF RwnQrfcirb pr»Q^»Tif с I lUNUiu INuOui iL3... #Î.Ccpy Rpple. #?.D n ГМПТ r GPIEI/'CUSLy HRRfl Rpple. !П ORDER TO PRESERVE II lO mcp CCMCOQTI-.0 luR lutn OCi iCRn I uR. THIS YEAR, I'M REALLY GOING TO GET MY SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU RIGHT. NO MORE OUTLANDISH, WAY-OUT-THERE GUESSING/ BUT DON'T WORRY, I'LL STILL MAKE YOU FEEL FAT SO THAT YOU BUY A WHOLE BUNCH MORE DIET BOOKS. I CAN'T WAIT FOR ¡PAD 2, AS I RESOLVE TO MAKE A KILLING ON ALL THOSE GEEKS SELLING ¡PAD 1.0/ ZjTv 4)1 amazon.com WE RESOLVE TO MAKE WINDOWS PHONE 7 THE NUMBER ONE MOBILE OPERATING SYSTEM ON THE PLANET! Microsoft 2010 Gi Culture AND IF IT ISN'T BY JUNE, WE WILL CANCEL IT AND RELEASE THE KINECT PHONE! joyoftech.coi
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